My friend Connor was finished with his semester and on summer break. We made plans to get together last night. After having dinner, there was still more in the way of catching up that we wanted to do. So we took a drive to the ocean, arriving just before 10:00 PM. Though it had been chilly and wet for days prior, this day had been a ten, and the beach was perfect. We wore shorts and light hoodies as we trekked up the sand dunes and then navigated our way across the several strands of smooth, loose rocks to the water’s edge. No one else was on the beach itself, though up a ways into one dune, a small group of what looked like celebrating college students was gathered around a bonfire. We could not hear their voices, only the rhythmical surge of the waves underscored by the steady breeze.
At one point, as I was looking down to maneuver between a scatter of stones, there was a familiar sparkle where I had scuffed my foot. It disappeared so quickly that someone else might have doubted they’d seen it at all. But I knew what it was. I crouched quickly and invited my friend to do the same. “Look!” I ran my fingertips lightly over the dark, wet sand and, as if by magic, a sparse trail of green scintillation followed, then dissipated instantly. “Did you see that?”
“Woah! What is that?” he asked, in a voice more boy than man. I love when I get the opportunity to introduce someone to a completely new experience.
“It’s phosphorescent algae,” I replied, swiping my hand again with the same result. He joined me, making trails of his own. “I’m surprised to see it so early in the year,” I continued. “It’s normally a September thing. Wow! Did you see that one?”
After a few more spells, we stood, rubbing the sand from our fingertips as we continued walking. “There’s just something about the sound of the ocean at night, when everything else is quiet,” I said, almost sleepily. But I wasn’t sleepy. I was peaceful. “It’s hard to explain,” I continued, “but it feels like … like it’s reaching in with every wave, sanding my soul clean until it’s like polished glass.” (I actually felt and said this; I’m not just trying to be poetic for print!)
“For me, it’s the wind,” Connor said. His voice had a faraway quality to it.
We talked of many things as we walked along together — life and dreams and what really matters. And sometimes, we just listened. These times empty me. And fill me.
While not everyone can escape for a midnight walk on the beach, I believe we can all cultivate times of stillness — solitude, quietness, “away-ness” — into our lives. Truly, I think we must, if we are to be whole and healthy people. For these are the times when the urgent gets separated from the important. When we allow our thoughts to speak. When we get honest about ourselves. When we see possibility.
In today’s mile-a-minute world, times of silence can be uncomfortable at first. Awkward. Even painful. But stillness strips away the illusions that busyness affords us. Stillness is an accurate mirror of who we are. Stillness tells the truth.
And coming to terms with the truth about ourselves is the only way we change, allowing us to become the person we want to be, instead of merely the person we tell ourselves we are when the pace is too fast to notice the difference.
Whether you are a Fortune 500 businessman or a mother of young children, making times for stillness in your life is crucial. If you look at your schedule and just don’t see how to make it work, then you are all the more in need of it! Tell yourself, “I am actually going to be a better [employee, teacher, parent, student] if I do this.” And then do it. Schedule it in if you must. Find someone who believes in you to help you make it work. But do it.
Soon, if we will choose to embrace it, stillness will no longer be something we dread but something we crave. It renews. It compliments. It challenges our creativity. It reminds us of what really matters in life. Already a truthful counselor, stillness now becomes an invaluable friend.
How will you set aside time for stillness this week?
Are you ready for some real change in your life right now?
The Best Advice So Far is about choice. Filled with wit, humor and poignantly real stories, The Best Advice So Far shares collective wisdom through a new lens, as well as practical application for living like it matters (because it does).
September 13th, 2017 at 6:19 AM
*The yellow-green arrow 💚 didn’t work for my blog transfer. I found blue linked words to get me here.
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September 13th, 2017 at 9:49 AM
Thanks for the information, Robin. If you’ll let me know what kind of phone you’re using, I’ll see if I can find the source of the problem.
In the meantime, here’s a direct link to the new/main site. See if that works for you:
http://www.TheBestAdviceSoFar.com/blog
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September 9th, 2015 at 9:20 AM
Such a great post Erik, and your story about the phosphorescent algae brings back so many great memories. Watching the waves glow as they crash, really is incredible.
Right now, most of my stillness happens early in the morning. Usually it consists of holding a baby–who is happily drinking her bottle–in one hand, and a cup of coffee in the other.
I’ll often have my computer open, and be reading as well–Thanks for some awesome thoughts to reflect on during my time of morning stillness today 🙂 It’s not as much quietness as I would like, but still these moments are times that I cherish.
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September 9th, 2015 at 10:24 AM
You are in a season of life right now where still moments alone (or even with just Jenny) will be rare and precious, so you have to be creative. It sounds like you are doing that. I’m not surprised that coffee is part of those moments!
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June 12th, 2015 at 4:11 AM
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August 9th, 2011 at 12:56 AM
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May 28th, 2011 at 12:19 PM
This is one of the best inspirational pieces I have ever read.
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May 28th, 2011 at 2:40 PM
Thanks, Evy. I took out the personal information there, hope you don’t mind. Regarding the parenthetical comment, it was for sake of humor not disclaimer! But duly noted. Another friend mentioned that people publish blog posts as books once they’ve been around a while and of substantial collective size. That might be a nice companion to the actual book, and I will certainly take your suggestion under advisement! Thanks for passing along the info.
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